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How to Survive a Zombie Attack

Everyone has read the stories, watched the movies…we all know the zombie apocalypse will come, sooner or later. Well, you can never be too prepared for that day. As part of my giveaway contest I asked you how you would survive the zombie plague, and you proved that the undead have not eaten your brains just yet!

From ingenious ideas like the zombie-proof suit, to detailed zombie battle plans, your 200 + comments gave me valuable knowledge. Here are just a few that can serve as a guide for all of us, and enable us to live long enough to impart this knowledge to future generations. With so many good ideas it was hard to pick winners, especially since when the zombies come there will be no winners, only the survivors… and dinner.

Zombie Walk (67) - 16Oct10, Paris (France)

1st Place- Jeff R : Epic Zombie Assassin

“Always move, there is no “safe”; armor up, they don’t just eat brains; you don’t need to reload a sword, but a mace works better; guns are good, arrows are silent; headshots are preferred; tertiary shots set up headshots.

I need supplies/rest, they do not.

Strong vehicles; workout regimen; always alert, small groups work; no mercy. Supplies are plentiful in the beginning, improvised weaponry is also easy to get, gardening/farming equipment is made to last a LONG time, remember, you need to upkeep/replace your weapons eventually…

Don’t count on punching the zombies, cutting off limbs only slows them down and turns them into zombie chemical sprayers. The bigger you are, the longer you can go without proper food, mass market centers will be swarmed with people it’s EVERYONE’S first idea to stock up when it happens so zombies will swarm there as well. Gun store owners are gun SHOOTERS, know your kill spots, know the pressure… knowledge is half the battle.”

2nd Place- Sam N : Undead Opportunist

“I would gather attractive female zombies and start the first post-apocalyptic prostitution ring.

“The living dead are great in bed!” would be my slogan.

Leather straps, muzzles, and zombie virus proof condoms would all be provided to ensure the customer is always safe. With my unique service, my name would spread across the land. With my profits in useful goods such as ammunition and food, my name would become synonymous with power and entrepreneurship.”

3rd Place Vinko M : Deadly Personal Trainer

“[I would] surround my house with treadmills.”

(all above are winning some epic technology that will surely aid you in your mission against the zombie horde! contact me here if you are one of them)

Zombie Walk 2010

Zombie Slayer Runner Ups

1. Bob K says: “First I would make this “anti zombie suit” I’ve been designing,
which is essentially hard plastic glued onto a leather motorcycle outfit (thick
leather is hard to break), and a motorcycle helmet to protect my face…”

2. Ziv Leyes says -”I’d use the BFG-9000 on one hand, and the plasma gun on the other, while having the double barrel shotgun aside just in case I run out of cells/ammunition/etc. I’d love to see how a massive zombie crowded street gets gibbed at once with a single BFG-9000 shot!

“..Lotsa rotten meat pieces all over the street!”

3. James Gilbert says: “I’d go to an army base, steal an IFV or APC and fill it with girls to repopulate humanity whist being easily able to protect myself.”

Zombie

4. Bryan S says: “I will cut off one hand and attach a chainsaw with duct tape. A 12 gauge, double barrel Remington shotgun for the other, good hand. I’ll have the Necronomicon XMortis, on stanby, to transport me into another time and place, if things should get out of hand…

“If it worked for Ash, it has got to work for me.”

5. Trevor Powers says: “Luckily I’ve been preparing for this… I would have with several shotguns and assault rifles and plenty of ammo. Make sure I have enough gas stored up and head to the nearest LOWE’S. A barricaded shelter will be imminent so I’ll have to pick up some concrete bags because COD Zombies taught me that 2×4′s get removed too quickly.

I’d then meet up with my team at the “Rally Spot” (I ain’t telling you possible zombies.)and we will begin our shelter making. we would then take shifts for watch out and in the day time we will raid local buildings for supplies. We’d also have our “connection” man working on the possible cure (off base with another team). Because the only prescription right now is a spray of bullets to their rotting fleshy heads. ”

6. Elise H says: “I think I would not worry about killing the zombies, since it would probably get to us all eventually anyway. So, I would get turned into a zombie myself and then we all would survive and make a new culture of working zombies…

“Earth could be called Grrrrgllgrrmmmm at that point.”

7. Stephen D says:  “First contact surviving friends especially those with cars. Grab any sort of object that can be used as a blunt weapon. Aim for the head. Rendezvous with friends (uninfected ones) Secure university campus with medical research facilities (get pharmacy students looking for a cure or anti-dote for the virus). Engineering students, formulate some makeshift medieval weaponry and armour the largest and most powerful vehicles left in the parking lot. Make haste for the nearest supermarket. Get food, return to campus, set up small community. Harvest cars for metal and aerospace engineers can build a plane to escape to a topical island or the closest safe location.”

zombie

8. Tim V says: “I actually have this very specifically planned out with a friend of mine. Gather up everything we need-food, weapons, ammo, supplies – and hit the road. Keep on the move, never stay in one place for too long. Take shelter when we need to, barricade when we have to. All of this until we reach the coast…

“…then we’ll hitch a helicopter to an off-shore oil drill.”

Seems like the best place to hold out as they’re meant to be pretty much completely self sufficient for long periods of time, plus we’d have a helicopter to make supply runs to the mainland when we have to.”

9. Christopher Ryan Aouate says: “[an] under ground bunker, with 9 inch steel doors on the entrance and exit, doors operated by a arduino connected to a linux server of course, I would assemble linux based battle bots that resemble tux (the linux mascot) and deploy them, control them remotely using GSM transceivers connected to a arduino on the bot, with proximity sensors, sound sensors, and automatic weapons, not to mention, a onboard webcam and a solar panel to charge it. On the control side of things, a GSM transceiver wired to interface device, connected though usb to a linux machine, and use the battle bots to kill the zombies one by one, while im in the comfort of a high tech underground bunker, with my chips and mountain dew (which I will have the battle bots raid stores for), all while listening to code monkey by Jonathon coulton off my a Dell Axim x51v hacked with Linux, simply bliss! :)”

10.  Jos Jansen says: “I would meet up with my best friends and just go on a killing spree. Since all my friends are nerds (like me), we have really really good odds.

“Nerds are the only people who know how to survive.”

Torn up Storm Trooper

Do you have a zombie apocalypse action plan?

  • The_Cat

    Man! I wish I’d heard about this earlier.

    Two words: Home Depot.
    They have everything you’d need, it’s fortified, there’s room to house numerous people, you can sett up a farm in the nursery for food, there are power-tools and fertilizer (which can be made into explosives) to defend yourself with, plenty of bricks, wood, and mortar to make barricades and fortifications, emergency power generators, you name it.

    • The_Cat

      Oopse! I forgot one other thing!

      Plan B: China

      Their government would slaughter every zombie and anyone showing signs of the plague.

  • pazuzuthewise

    No need to panic!
    The authorities are prepared for any possible zombie outbreak (do they know something we don’t?!):

    http://blogs.cdc.gov/publichealthmatters/2011/05/preparedness-101-zombie-apocalypse/

  • Dash

    Actually, I’m getting on an aircraft carrier and taking it up north to the Arctic Circle. With a couple people, the supplies on a ship like that can last for YEAR.

  • http://www.facebook.com/mark.muniz3 Mark3217

    My goal would be to get to one of the small islands off hawaii im sure there arent many infected in these places as they are off shore. Things id take ..not a hard decision : My collection of swords my .38 with a few hundred rounds from my safe, my laptop with windows not linux (sorry nixie) and my gf lol. Where would i go ? Id try to steal a plane with a few hundred gallons of fuel onboard. not sure if id survive but i’d do my best and if not well my .38 can help me escape the whole mess if worse came to worse.

    • http://www.facebook.com/mark.muniz3 Mark3217

      i forgot to mention basic supplies of food and water :p

  • MPHammer

    hahaha he actually thinks there will be an internet during a zombie apocalypse and her computer is duel boot Linux Ubuntu and Windows 7

  • dmitry

    i don’t have friends.
    i don’t have gun and even if i somehow find one i shoot bad.
    so i’ll probably just kill myself.

  • Ziffel

    Survive Zombies? No problem. Just get a big vehicle. Paint a #3 on the Side. Get as many weapons and ammo as possible and make your last Stand at the Twinkies factory in “NEW” Quahog Where Peter Griffin and Family survived Nuclear Blasts on Family Guy. Giggity……Giggity Goo.