Top 10 Sexy Game Character Kinks

In a world where sexual innuendos and bad puns reign supreme, we still manage to play video games without distraction. Finally innuendo and video games come together in full force! Here are my top 10 sexy video game characters and their kinks.. with some you wouldn’t expect.

10. April Ryan (The Longest Journey)

Bedroom behavior: Wet Dreams

You know when you wake up from a dream and you feel like it all seemed so real? With April and her ability to make dreams a reality, you could take that feeling to a whole new level. She can see magic as well as create portals to dimensions, and shift in and out of them (pun intended). Having sex with a dragon’s human daughter pretty much guarantees that you’re going to feel like you are hippyflipping on some ethereal plane. Minus the dragon breath, I hope.

9. King (Tekken)

Bedroom behavior: Yiffy

If your lover of choice is a cross between a lumberjack and a kitty, then King is just for you… especially if you like claw marks down your back, as he’s a real animal in bed. King will definitely help break the ice at your next furry convention. Just don’t try to bring him to the vet – he has a mean right hook.

8. Kitana (Mortal Kombat Series)

Bedroom behavior: Sexality

She has 10,000 years of experience which will no doubt make her your worthy opponent in the sack. She must use excellent anti-wrinkle cream as she still appears to be in her mid-twenties, despite her age. Because of this you may find yourself having an internal struggle while you wonder if she is really “too old” or “too young” for you. Don’t worry, you’ll be just fine so long as you don’t fall for the “twin sister” Mileena. (on the right) Mileena actually has razor sharp fangs under her veil; apparently evil clones aren’t masters at the art of dental hygiene.

7. Link (The Legend of Zelda)

Bedroom behavior: Virgin

He doesn’t really speak, so talking dirty is out. Fortunately for me, what he lacks in speech he makes up for in dedication – as he has been faithful to his cause for almost two decades now. Isn’t it time for his reward? Give Princess Zelda that Ocarina of Time so she can go back to elementary school where she belongs and let a real woman handle Link.

6. Cortana (Halo)

Bedroom behavior: l33t

Possibly the hottest hacker you’ll ever see, Master Chief has often been caught staring at Cortana’s massive artificial .. intelligence. Her lack of programming restrictions will be sure to have you wanting unrestricted access to her private matrix. Too bad she’s a hologram, oh well — sticking your floppy disk into a hard drive is so passé anyway.

5. Ben Grimm (Fantastic 4 – The Game )

Bedroom behavior: Stone cold

WHOA, Ben.. I can see why they call you “The Thing.” It’s enormous! No really, put that away – you could poke someone’s eye out! I had no idea when you said “It’s Clobberin’ Time!” you really meant you’ll lay the smack down in all your rock solid perversity. Oh well, I’ll take ya’.. it can’t get much harder than you.

4. Samus Aran (Metroid)

Bedroom behavior: Astronomical

We have been wanting Samus ever since she busted out of her unflattering suit of armor. She’s hotter than the sun and her breasts have been recognized as the 9th and 10th planets. (sorry pluto) She can use the “Screw Attack” on me anytime since there’s nothing better than a good romping in zero gravity, I always say.

3. Manny Calavera (Grim Fandango)

Bedroom behavior: Ay Papi!

You’ve lead a good life, or maybe you haven’t. Don’t worry mi amor, Manuel will take good care of you regardless. He’s a Spanish-speaking smooth-talker and his close ties with the spirit world give the ladies a sure fire taste of heaven.. if they can get over the fact that he has no skin. If not, he tends to give his sloppy seconds to his 500 lb blob monster named Glottis. (and you think I’m kidding.)

2. Sephiroth (Final Fantasy)

Bedroom behavior: God-Like

Men and women the world over have admired him for his 12 foot long sword, but that’s not why we called him God. His name actually comes from Kabbalah, in which the ten sephirot on the Tree of Life represent different aspects of God. So bow to him, my children, and you shall be delivered unto his all encompassing hotness. It’s cosmically orgasmic!

1. Carla (Fahrenheit)

Bedroom behavior: Kinky

I doubt you’d mind this sexy officer taking you downtown. There’s just one problem; Carla works in the homicide unit so you have to do something really bad to deserve a cavity search from her. I guess it’s back to roleplaying cops and robbers with your latest flavor of the week until your girlfriend does something that takes you over the edge.

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