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Tomb Raider – The Boob Chronicles

“Tomb Raider – Underworld” is the 8th game in the legacy of Lara Croft and the latest odyssey in this busty brunette’s career. However, sales were far lower than Eidos expected, causing their stock to plummet. In the last year the company has lost 74 percent of its total value.

Searching frantically for an explanation to their demise, Eidos remembered all the aspects that made Tomb Raider great. What could they have missed? After countless hours of seeking they finally realized where they went wrong…


Eidos stopped having breasts on their brains. For years Lara has tit-illated us with her pixel rich bosom. Let’s face it; we purchased the game so we could better picture Lara naked. So in commemoration of Lara’s rack (which is getting sadly smaller every year).. I give you:

My dear Lara Craft, Laura Kroft.. whatever your name is.. we still enjoy the way you handle a pistol. Yet I am afraid that if you don’t bring back those good ol’ fashioned jugs, we will have to get comfortable with our own devices.